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Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Alien Invasion
(Crap talk)
Tonight on http://ahs-namron.blogspot.com, we will be talking about aliens.

The Earth is no longer safe. It is now prone to alien invasions, which could be a good thing..or deadly. So how do humans cope with these mystical creatures? The government. They introduced Human Rights, but no alien rights.

Look at this alien. He is scary.

Aliens invade us because they are harmful. They may appear innocuous, but they are not. For example, they MAY appear as this:

BUT! Look at this. (Notice the middle finger)

Conclusion: Aliens are dangerous and are among us all humans..and they blog..

Norman Au.

Blogged at 10:53 PM, +8 GMT


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Sunday, December 17, 2006

Confidence of Honor and Glory.
(Crap talk)

Tonight on http://ahs-namron.blogspot.com, we shall learn about having enough self-esteem (Tomorrow will be about Defending human rights). As everyone know, having enough self-esteem is extremely important. Having low self-esteem can lead to certain death, and this is no joke. You see, when a person have low-self esteem, the person tend to be sad more often, which will lead to depression, then suicidal. It is terribly sad when 1 dies of low-self esteem.

Fortunately, the http://ahs-namron.blogspot.com team has found the perfect cure, and no, we are not joking.The answer to this major problem is..

Yes its true. The answer is YOU. Find the truth within yourself..find your true self, and the problem is solved. How? Simple. Be sure that you are a good lie detector, so that when you lie to yourself, you can spot the lie and be true. If not, you need the lie-detector machine.


What you will need:
1) A lot of$
2) Local and US government permission

Time required:
24hours- ~hours

Email a letter to the Local and US government and wait for their reply.Place an article to state that you are buying a lie-detector machine for $50,000,000 SGD.
Alternatively, you can obtain the machine this way too:

1) Great brain
2) Speedy
3) SWAT team under your control ( Walk into the White House and ask for a loan from the president of USA.)
4) 150 Sets of M-16 ( Steal a couple of em from the Singapore Armed Forces and run as fast as you can away)
5) At least 10 Anti tank missiles ( Walk into the White House and ask for a loan from the president of USA. )
6) At least 500 Bombs ( Loan from president of USA)
7) Good relationship with George Bush. ( Call George Bush and chit-chat with him often.)

Time required:
About a week

Know how to control your SWAT team. Next, instruct your men to rob a lie-detector machine and escape. When Government finds out, police will come. Fire at will with the M-16s. When the country is under crisis, and when tanks are seen, use Anti-Tank missiles. Once the country is down, You will have to pay up for the equipments borrowed.

Sacrifice your SWAT team, Convince them to be suicide bombers with your brilliant mind. Next spread out your SWAT team throughout the White House and wait for them to explode. Another one down.

Many people found this method very useful and are still using it even till today. One example is Muthusamy, who has grown happier after trying our method out.Look at his 'before' photo. Look at the creased eyebrows and the obvious, fake smile, and now look at his 'after' photo, the one with the genuine smile, opening up to everyone. Have more self-esteem!

---------- Before ---------- |----------- After -----------

"I was pretty upset back then as i always feel that i am worthless and all. However i found my true self" Muthusamy s/o Kaka

Also, there are others:

---------- Before ----------| ---------- After ------------

" My parents were disappointed to know that i love boys. I was very sad to be different from normal people too. However i got more self-esteem and what the heck, i did what normal guys won't do." Gay-san

---------- Before -----------| ----------- After -----------

" I was fired by my boss everywhere i go, and was losing much self-worthiness. However now i quit before the boss can fire me and became a much happier person." George Boosh

Other anonymous happy people:


Will post more often.

Norman Au.

Blogged at 11:52 PM, +8 GMT


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Saturday, December 16, 2006

Extreme 'Busi'ness.

Been extremely busy lately, will post tomorrow

Norman Au.

Blogged at 4:27 PM, +8 GMT


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Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Competition Madness
(No pics, personal opinion)

Ok, i admit im against all the competitions show as they are obviously "treating us as fish and use a bait to hook us up. They give us an idol to worship hundreds of times a day, kowtow 500times a day till our head bleed and brain smashed, make a religion out of it and thus the celebrity becomes a god.

Now when this particular god dies of some kind of reason, people cry for him/her until they go blind. I believe when their parents die they don't cry as much fuck as they do compared to these celebrities. So why are people still falling into this fucking trap?Also, it is true these celebrities earn their fame by people voting for them using money larh. The crafty business men made these kind profit so cleverly hidden, making a fool out of so many people. I think i should elaborate.

For example the survivor round. Why do you think they make it?!?!? Because, the fact that you have seen how good those people whom are kicked out are, you would want them to have another chance. With that fact, you would vote more. And why do you think the finals is held so long?

One can win the competition easily after qualified.
*Have many friends and family members
*All are fucking rich
*Willing to spend a lot of money

Many people don't realize that since voting rate is higher than professional judgment rate, it becomes very unfair. Now winning is not because the person is really the best among the contestants...it is because of votes.

Norman Au.

Blogged at 10:28 PM, +8 GMT


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Sunday, December 10, 2006

'Stand-up comedians' and Meditating freaks.
(Paint tool post, read bold texts especially loud.)

One fine day, Norman was going home from Choa Chu Kang after being there. He took a LRT home from Choa Chu Kang to Bukit Panjang. Once inside, noticed some was seating and some was standing, but those firmly ain't grabbing to anything, and trying their best to stay balanced. he scan through where the metal poles are and saw

As a sudden brake occurred during the ride of doom, Norman's hand make a quick grab at the pole, of which was violently rejected.

Ok, my point here is to talk about these inconsiderate people on public transports. Basically they hug the poles as if its the first time they seen it, and MY DOES THE POLE SHINE, AFTER it was hugged by the person.. and possibly French-kissed.

They hug the poles with great care, and their ass rub and rub against the pole, left to right, right to left, in perfect sequence and accuracy. Then they found a seat and went to take it. The next thing you might see is that little kids rushing up the train, grabbing the poles, playing and acidentally kissing the pole, and drool on it somemore. It is like WTF?! Same as kissing the ass.

Ok. I think you get what i mean larh..

Also there are 'meditators' on the bus, emitting much magic and pure energy, bursting through time, space and seats. They look so extreme, their mere force could shatter a few bones here and there. With arms outstretched, they remain balancing on a tiny fulcrum, looking ready to collapse in no time. For example, have a look below..

(Click image for larger view)

The Meditator i spotted and took a picture of. He had a force within himself, which unknowingly caused the aunt to his right to turn to him. One of his arm was outstretched and look like a snake..moving swiftly..left and right..left and right..and SNAP! Below the tail of the snake lies a dark patch, where weeds grow to their fullest. Natural fertilizer can be found there. Now, please have a look at the heavily circled area.

WHAT could HE have been DOING? Let us start from what we an see, as evidence. We can see that all his five fingers are slightly bent in, making it look like he is grabbing or scratching something. Now his hand lies between both legs, that means that the something must be between his legs.

So our evidences so far are quite a lot, so to bring it short..
Five fingers scratching or grabbing something between his legs. Not much progress..so lets try to find more evidences..

Lets look at his expression. With eyes like those and mouth opened and arched and head tilted slightly diagonally upwards, i can safely say that he is feeling good.

Also notice that there are 3 women around him, and he is a male. These are important notes of course, you can write them down.

Now looking at his right hand again, i noticed that it is stretching out towards the right,regardless whether if it does look like a snake or not, caused much attention to people around him.
Also one of his leg is positioned tactically, for the comfort of his own, and distress to others.

In this case, he must be doing something that is not many will do, since it causes so much attention. As you can see, he is occupying much space which may be part of the distress.

With all the evidences so far lets group them together, with the bold texts most important.

*Five fingers scratching or grabbing something between his legs
*Feeling good
*Only male
*3 women around only
*His action causing much attention
*Comfort of his own, distress to others
*Only part of the distress is due to his occupation of too much space.


This is what meditators do on public transport, occupying so much space that people want to give then a huge smack. When actual humans come into communication with these beings, these beings gives out a shockwave, and if it doesn't knock the humans right out of balance, the forceshield created 5 seconds later did the trick.

This is why humans now use the execution format. You don't see humans saying 'excuse me please can you move inside please?'. Now you see humans that say 'Get your fucking leg off the fucking chair and quit fucking around with me or die'.



Norman Au.

Blogged at 12:10 AM, +8 GMT


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Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Chain of Evil
(Please click on images to enlarge)
Recently i went to check my email and found out that i have received a mail. I was curious to find out what it contained, so thus i opened it. Below is what i saw.

OMG. THIS CHAIN LETTER IS REAL!!!!!!!!!!!! I am truly AMAZED. I MUST follow the instructions to get GOOD LUCK. Thus, i continued reading..

I blasted my speakers, sat infront of the computer and stared for a few thousand milliseconds, but much to my dismay, no sound emitted..except THIS!!!

So i decided to skip the listening part and continue through the treacherous journey of a scrollbar. Then, OMG. The chainletter REPEATED the word that it is real. I frooze due to shock , but in ice. WHY?!?!? WHY DID IT REPEAT!?!?!? I CAN READ LARHH!!! The HORROR!!! The TERROR!!! All lies in reading the texts


Please look at the following text again :

Read it out :

Aloud :

Now again :

I don't believe YOU have EYES :

I don't believe YOU have the PATIENCE to READ :

Now please do :

This is not a literature essay, but i am the WRITER :

I am not kidding :

Do you like that? It took me 3 seconds to recover from the shock, which does not mean i already melted the ice created. Next, i moved on to the content

"Thou shall kiss at every opportunity"
The writer, today, now.

This will, inevitably be extremely irritating. Why? Can you imagine someone constantly kissing you, non-stop, u wake up and IMMEDIATLY you are kissed a few hundred times. Next while you are eating, you are still being kissed. Till you sleep, you are constantly being attacked by the lips. Now when you are BATHING.. never mind.

The chain letter, passed on by so many many readers, requests me to remember the fact that:
A peach is a peach.
A plum is a plum.

However, no matter what happens,

Next, girls will NOT ALWAYS SMELL GOOD. If you don't agree, try dipping a girl in shit and smell her...unless you love smelling shit.

After finish reading the contents, i continued to scroll down and read..

It WILL work. I assure you, though i don't know how. NO JOKE!!! You say what you want, next you send this STUPID mail(stated by themselves, look at the first picture), and you get what you wish for!!!

This is what i see next.

What i concluded when i saw this part:
This chainletter is lucky
This chainletter is the LONGEST
This chainletter just sucks.

If you do not send the chain letter, you WILL get BAD luck. Also note that the year is 2006 now.. WARNING!!DANGER!!! 危险!!! AWAS!!!

First of all, lets bring the attention to raguram, the person of the msn of which popped up at the side of my computer screen when i clicked on the button "screenshot". HE, is definitely not the women in his display picture, however he loves her. Actually he loves all girls.

Get back to the topic... WTF!!! YEAR 1887!!! Might as well go and die, cause internet has not even been invented back then..AND.

They do not realize they have started the repetition on the bad luck thing again.
They do not realize they have started the repetition on the bad luck thing again.
They do not realize they have started the repetition on the bad luck thing again.
They do not realize they have started the repetition on the bad luck thing again.
They do not realize they have started the repetition on the bad luck thing again.


Now, if you do not advertise my blog within twenty-four hours after reading this post
you will get 7years of bad luck.

If you advertise to
0-10people, you suck
11-30people, you do not suck, instead you exhale
31-99people, you consistently suck and exhale several times rapidly
100 and more people, you stop breathing and go to




Norman Au.

Blogged at 12:33 PM, +8 GMT


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Sunday, December 03, 2006

Totally lame and idiotic ads are usually everywhere these days, especially slimming ads. Just walk through any shopping centers and you'll come across at least one. The picture above is one very good example of stupid ad.

"Its amazing! I lost 5kg in less than a month thanks to Xando!"
"I recommend uZap, you'll get in shape in less than 3months!"
"It really works, keeps your face acne free!"

Next, they use those already perfect appearances for their ads, and STILL people fall for this crap. For example they use Fiona Xie, who has NEVER been fat after uZap was made, as a model* for their product. Ridiculous.

Note that the models are paid to do what the company ask for. Not that the products are useless. The products are good, just that they use the wrong people for advertisement.

Also, slimming companies often use the same people for advertisement, usually Fann Wong, Fiona Xie, etc. If all the slimming products worked as much as what they have stated, they would be totally weightless and floating right now, at this very moment. Or perhaps negative weight.

But what we see isn't the case, so if the slimming has STILL been working out perfectly fine, that means our celebrities have been losing weight and gaining weight EFFICIENTLY with great speed and ease. One moment they lose 5kg, and the next they gain another 6kg. So we will often see them bulging out exaggeratively at one time and totally deflated the next.

In this case, it will be more liking impossible, so i conclude that the slimming had not worked no the models, though it might still be effective as the models might not have taken the treatment*.

Norman Au.

Blogged at 11:37 PM, +8 GMT


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Friday, December 01, 2006

(this post surprisingly has no crap, and is of personal opinion.)

Handphones have now upgraded to have so much external functions so much so that i believe a change in name for the device from handphone to mobile mini computer.

Handphones aka (mobile phone) from the past consist of very little functions. The main function of it is simply to be able to contact people. There aren't colored phones as well, cause they are seemingly useless. However messaging is there, which is not a big hit last time cause people are not used to typing to the other party. Most people find talking a faster, easier and more convenient way to establish communication.

Those phones also have long lasting batteries, probably due to their little functions and 'low-quality' graphics..? Used to have 7bars of batteries, handphone nowadays have a default battery life of 3bars or more. Comparing them to handphones which we see nowadays.

Having many more functions as compared to what we have last time, these handphones have great color quality, graphics, cameras with video capabilities, internet, radio stations, weather forecaster, calculator(some are even scientific calculators), alarm, bluetooth, MP3 player,memory card capabilities, video calls.

Not only that. Some handphones are even designed for different purposes, such as music phone, internet phone, camera phone. They have became so advanced that the name 'handphone' does not fit them any longer. Now these phones are designed for people's entertainment, leisure, business, requirements and convenience.

Some things i believe in the current handphones:
The battery goes flat much faster than handphones of the past. Reasons to it i believe is due to the much more functions and capabilities they have as compared to back then. Morever, phones now need to use more 'energy' as the quality have greatly improved.

Also, if there is only a company producing handphones, you might not be able to see the phones we have now, as there is no competition, there is no need for them to produce such nice phone. However there are more tha 3 companies competing for customers...so what do you think? They need to produce phones which have much capabilities yet convenient and good to use.

This also makes me think why N-gage was a failure in marketing, though i am not sure of whether it was really such a failure. The reason is of that it mixed handphone with a Nintendo gameboy advanced, creating a phone and a half-as-good-gameboy. It is also pricey, thus making people to not buy them. As a result, people would rather buy a Nintendo gameboy and a handphone which have other capabilities which are beneficial to them, though it might be more expensive then an N-gage, but it would be more worth it, in a sense that you get more benefits and better qualities. Moreover, the games are sold separately.

Also, handphones were not owned by many last time. But the present? Almost everyone have handphones, even foreign workers and granduncles/aunts. Why is this so? Handphones have changed from a object of want to an object of need. This is due to the introduce of some of the main improvements of handphones, with the bold ones being especially important, written below:

1) Prepaid card to line service.
2) Radio stations.
3) From non-colored to colored.
4) Introduction to camera/video phones.
5) Internet services.
6) Audio player/mp3 player.
7) Bluetooth device.
8) Memory cards
9) Video calls.

1) Line services are very useful to some people. These people often needs the phone. In their case, they pay much lesser for what could have been thousands if they have used prepaid card. Prepaid cards on the other hand, is for people who seldom uses handphone. In this case, it is cheaper for them to use prepaid card as it will only charge you when you use the features.

2) Some people love listening to radio.

3) Colored phones marked an interest in most people as it is an improvement most people had not expected, but had wanted. What i mean colored is not the handphone casing but the text, files, desktop, etc.

4) Camera/video phones is handy and efficient. I say this as obviously many people don't bring their camera with them wherever they go right? So there.

5) Internet Services greatly widens out the capabilities of the handphone.

6) Some people just love listening to music, and combining MP3 with handphone does not reduces the quality of the music.

7) Bluetooth offers FREE services, thus inviting much attention. You wouldn't want to MMS your friend a picture when you are beside him, do you? And with bluetooth, you can send files from your computer to your phone, vice versa.

8) Memory cards applicable phones are good, in a way that you will not have to worry bout the space contrains any longer. With so many features, using a little of this and that and your memory is full. You wouldn't want that.

9) Video calls are romantic..?Though I don't think so, i think they are the source of trouble. You can't lie to your boss now.


So do you think handphones should change name??? Yes i do.



Norman Au.

Blogged at 1:50 PM, +8 GMT


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The New Language(TNL)
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