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Friday, March 30, 2007

How to cheer people up in a hospital
First of all, if you do not like this post, i don't care I'm not going to remove it because of you.

The official http://ahs-namron.blogspot.com guide to cheer people up in the hospital

This guide teaches you 3 ways to cheer people up...and become an ass. Your behavior is of utmost important. After you have finished reading this guide, you will have at least 80% of the knowledge of how to cheer people up in the hospital.


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Saw a paralyzed person? What should you do? How about...talking to him? Or cleaning him using a warm, moist towel? DON'T. When u see a paralyzed victim, cover the blanket up, especially when you notice people are coming to visit him. When his/her relatives cry, you tell them "I COVERED THE BLANKET FOR FUN, HAHAHAH!". His relatives will have a good laugh.


2) "I'm fit and healthy. How about you?"

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Went to a ward full of sickly patients? Those who are suffering from deficiencies...? How about telling them how fit you are and that you are able to attend school normally? If they have any limps missing, just remind them that you have (insert amount) more than them.

If they have any fingers missing, ask them to count one to ten using fingers. Finally, u record yourself saying 'I'm fit and healthy' in a recorder, place it in the ward, switch to the maximum volume and leave it to play continuously. The victim will definitely chuckle.



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1st, find such a patient shown above. When you have found one, tell a joke or a story(anything will do) to the person.

(1) When the patient is not listening to you, switch off the power to his supply of oxygen and say "I'm not going to turn it on until you laugh".
(2) After the person laugh, switch it on again and continue your story/joke(provided he/she is laughing). When the patient is caught not laughing, switch it off again.
(3)Repeat step (1)&(2) as many times as possible. The victim will laugh to death.
If any of you tried the above out...tell me.


Norman Au.

Blogged at 10:01 PM, +8 GMT


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Sunday, March 25, 2007

High resolution television = Useless

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What is the point of high resolution television? I mean..really.. they are useless. Their main purpose (high resolution) = Useless. TV with high resolution ought to be dismantled. If you bought one, congratulations. You spent an extra thousand to watch the same low quality program shown on TV just like every other people with colored TV. When i say quality, i mean the resolution.

Perhaps if the creator of high resolution TV had been a stall keeper instead, he/she could be so creative to the extent that:

Nasi lemak (with small plate) $2.50
Nasi lemak (with medium size plate) $3.50
Nasi lemak (with big plate) $4.30
Nasi lemak (Giant...plate) $5.00

And the customers would say " Hey! With bigger plate comes more food ". However..

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Those who bought high resolution TV are probably those who have been tricked by their commercials. You have probably watched their commercial with your previous set of television and exclaimed " WOW! That TV set is great! It sure is colorful!". Think again. If you are able to see how good their TV is by watching their commercial on your TV set.. then its probably a fake.

Perhaps its time to think before you buy certain things.


Norman Au.

Blogged at 3:40 PM, +8 GMT


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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Holiday sucks

This post is another post that isn't funny. Surprised? First post in a few months about myself.

The main reason why i have not been updating is because i have been ill these few days... which many people think its not serious, which of course, isn't true. I have been sick ever since Monday(Holiday) and up till now, i have not fully recover.

My first-course

Next, i got fever which is considerably high for two days. Temperature ranging from 37.8-38.1 degree celcius. My normal temperature is usually 36.2-36.6. Fever for me is usually 37.2-37.5.
Thus, my second-course. And curse the weather. When i got high fever, it pours for days. Oh and everytime im having a fever, i always feel that im going mad or going to die. Ask me why, and i will reply "i don't know". But still... ... ask me.

Next, i got serious cough. Pneumonia? Nah, don't think its that serious. Doesn't matter. Anyway the doctor said it was quite serious and could lead to asthma or something if i had visited the doctor later. Thus i missed NCC and my third course of medicine:

This time it was pretty bad. I got side effects from the medicine and my hand tremble by itself which scared the shit out of me anyway.

My cough got better anyway but its still quite serious. I visited the doctor again and got MC (Unfit for physical exercise for TWO WEEKS)
And here is my latest one:

And that is all. I have not yet recovered lah. So if you are bored, read my Recommended posts on the right ok lah. Being ill sucks. Having mc sucks.


Norman Au.

Blogged at 9:44 PM, +8 GMT


Get Well Soon and Blog daily.
Hope to read your blog daily.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at March 22, 2007 10:20 AM  

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Thursday, March 15, 2007

Latest Videos

The haunted school

Description: A pupil wearing a cap came out of the school, and met his friend immediately. They then decided to enter the school again, but found that the school gate has locked within the 2-3seconds. What has happened?!? Nobody knows. It was such a coincidence that someone was taking a video at that time.


The Killer (1)

An innocent man was walking home when suddenly, a mad man rushed in and deal a huge blow directly at the middle of his spinal cord. The innocent man dies immediately. The mad man decided to run in circles before proceeding to hide. Do not miss the next movie!


The Killer (2)

A CID came. He checked the crimescene. He concluded that 'xxxxxxxxxxxxx'(Find out by watching the video). Also, the mad man was asked to be the witness of the crime. What will the madman do? Is it the end for him or WILL THE CID BE KILLED?!?!? To find out, simply watch the video.



Norman Au.

Blogged at 4:31 PM, +8 GMT


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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Our TV

Is your TV square or rectangle? Hopefully it is not round or oval. But that does not matter. Nowadays drama shows are getting boring. An example is shown below.
Both the guy and the girl loves each other deeply.

Guess what happened NEXT!!!

The girl left the boy for some kind of reason, like parents force or something. She waited for a bus.

Guess what happened NEXT!!!

The guy runs and coincidentally when the bus started moving off, the guy caught sight of the girl on the bus, screams her name and chase after the bus.

Guess what happened NEXT!!!

The girl will be seen crying, and the guy stops running and pant.

Guess what happened NEXT!!!

The guy turns behind and somehow, the girl is right in front of the guy. Both of them married and die in the end.


I mean, where is the suspense? TV shows are getting more and more predictable nowadays such that people are getting tired of them. However, the example above isn't bad enough. There are worse drama shows. They are drama shows with no significant ending. As in shows of which two guys falls for a girl, and the girl has a hard time choosing 1 out of 2 of them. It all ends when the girl went to study abroad and the two guys left single and heartbroken.

Personally, these show sucks. I would have regretted watching the show in the first place if i had known that the ending would be so shitty. Can't think of better endings? Then don't start the show! Isn't it simple? I watch the show because I'm interested to find out who the girl will choose!

And finally, the shittiest of all. The 'VOTE FOR THIS ENDING' show.

If you want me to slap the director's face, sms 01 to 75143!
If you want the me to punch the director, sms 02 to 75143!

Why does these show suck so much? Reason being that we, the audience gets to decide what ending the show will have. STUPID? 100%. This isn't a game, its a show. A DRAMA. Get real. If i want to play a game, i would not choose to pay money on such a dumbass game. Instead, GameBoy Nintendo is much better (Even if it still sucks).


Norman Au.

Blogged at 10:35 PM, +8 GMT


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Thursday, March 08, 2007

Pens exist for us to write, not for us to fling it with might and justice so as to attain high level skills to kill dragons of the devil sea or the dark witch of the south. There is a reason to why the person who created the object "pen", decided to insert ink as part of a pen. Spinning them isn't the reason, and any attempt to advocate the opposite shall be ignored.

The picture above shows a man or a woman that is unable to hold firmly to a pen properly, just like a paralyzed child. From the picture, one can see that the thumb and the index finger are trying to grab hold of the pen, which unfortunately wasn't there.

Thus, i have come to a conclusion that people who flings pen around are paralyzed child that are on the road to recovery and are receiving treatments. The patient grabbing hold of the pen between his/her index finger and thumb firmly and write an essay of not less than 100words marks the end of the treatment.

I have an dream. It is one that will outshine all other dreams. It is also one that will change the world completely, a medical improvement, that is to be able to heal paralyzed people just by slapping their face.

Also, i shall have the expression on the girl's face exactly like the picture above. I will place a pen beside the patient's hand and right after that, proceed to slap him. If the person did not recover immediately i would slap again, and slap harder when i see signs of revival. I will only stop when the patient grab firmly of the pen beside him.


He can't hold his pen firmly! Notice how he is UNABLE to grab the pen at the last second of the video, AND HAD TO DROP THE PEN INSTEAD!!! Of which, he proceeded to hold the mice.
And trust me, pen-spinning doesn't require much talent. What you need are
1) A pen
2) Your master hand
3) An empty place

First of all, locate your master hand.

Next, find the pen.

Now here goes the fun part, where you get to spin the pen. Follow what the video shows you and you will be able to spin a pen!


Norman Au.

Blogged at 7:42 PM, +8 GMT


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Saturday, March 03, 2007

No Offense, but...
following a text of atrocious bullshit, which are definitely offensive.
If you such people..

(Picture made by me)

If you are trying to be courteous, this blog is here to tell you that you aren't. Think about it. You are insulting someone and you do not mean to be offensive?

If you want to make the person you are talking to change, them tell them you mean to be offensive. Do not try to be such an idiot and say "no offense, following words that really are offensive." You are just trying to act like an angel aren't you? There are many other ways that you could tell them and not piss them off. An example is given.

"Please do not use "no offense" if you want me to change, but you are still my best friend"

Isn't this simple? If you are able to take time reading my blog, i believe you have time to add in a few more words to what you say...that includes removal of the phrase "no offense..".

Now..how should you react when someone uses that phrase against you? Simple. Scold him. Beat him. Do anything to the extent of killing him. Nah kidding.

You could reply to them. On second thought, don't. They are "act-good people", and you hate them. Cover his mouth? No, it probably stinks. You should say


In most cases, they'll be pissed off and ask "whats wrong with you?", in which you reply "nothing, but there is something wrong with you. If you want to know whats wrong, visit http://ahs-namron.blogspot.com and read his blog."


Norman Au.

Blogged at 4:48 PM, +8 GMT


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If you enjoy this blog,
you will SURELY love...





The New Language(TNL)
The New Language(TNL) II
The New Language(TNL) III

Sesame Street
Formal Letter

How to be an ass in a hospital
Stop eating, be happy


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- Norman
- Email address: Ahs.namron@gmail.com


Started on 1st January2007.

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