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Tuesday, May 29, 2007


CME is fucking useless

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I wonder why all schools have this lesson in the first place: CME (Civics and Moral Education). Whatever that is taught in the lesson is useless. I mean, no one will listen to lectures in any situation. First of all, it is boring. Second... never mind.

Anyway, my point here is that CME is bullshit and should be removed from all schools (especially schools that aren't primary schools). I'll give you a clue what it teaches us. It starts with the letter "C" and ends with "ivics and Moral". (Did you guessed it right?)

Just look at the questions they ask you. An example is shown below

John is a chinese boy. A malay boy named Syafiq came and wants to make friend with him. What should he do?

1) Beat the fuck out of Syafiq
2) Throw a grenade at him
3) Declare war with his race
4) Say Yes.

Correct answer is 4, obviously. If anyone can't answer that, he/she is obviously a racist. I hate racists.


CME is based purely on common sense. You don't need people to teach you not to kill. You learn through experience. You do it once, you don't repeat the same mistake. Thats how you do it. Not through lessons.

The image below shows a man who have learn not to steal through experience.
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(man is in jail)

Below is cartoon on what will happen IF the man only goes through CME lessons.



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Which is better?

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Norman.

Norman Au.



Blogged at 5:22 PM, +8 GMT


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Monday, May 28, 2007


Children should learn the truth
Everyone have the right to know of the truth, even children. I believe it is time for them to know the truth in this world:

EVERYONE IS GOING TO DIE EVENTUALLY

And the death will most probably be extremely painful.

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Children shouldn't be kept from the fact that the world out there is a very harsh one: in fact, they should be exposed to the truth as early as possible. If you are a parent, always remember that there is not such thing as a white lie on earth. Every single lie is bad.

For a start, you should refrain your child from watching barney.

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If you ever spot your child watching barney, tell them straight away that:
Dinosaurs are extinct.
Even if they aren't, they will eat you up.
There is a person inside that fur costume.


If your child does not believe you, slap them. If they cry, slap them again. This usually shuts them up.

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If you keep this up, your child will be on the way to becoming a great one. Remember, all this is done for the betterment of your child.

Norman Au.



Blogged at 9:13 PM, +8 GMT


1 Comments:

Are you serious? Or juz crapping? LoL. Yeah white lies are BAD.

By Blogger alqx, at June 22, 2007 10:23 AM  

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Saturday, May 26, 2007


Allergy
Being allergic to something can be good or bad. Why? Lets say you are a boy and you are allergic to other penises. That could very well save your life( Just imagine the other party is an aids carrier). On the other hand, you could be a boy that is allergic to vagina. If thats so, you are so dead.

Your parents are going to kill you on the spot because you can't carry on the family line.

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Your penis simply sucks! Your mother will be angry!

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But hey! They can be put into good use if you do not want to go to school. Let your teacher be a male, and you are allergic to penises. Pass a letter to your friend to pass it to your teacher. This letter should tell the teacher why you did not turn up for school.

Letter:
Dear Mr Tan,

I am _________(This is you). I will be sick today if i come school because I am allergic to penises. I realized that whenever I stand near to you, I will have breathing difficulties and rashes( which are the symptoms of my allergy).

I know the way to solve the problem is not by skipping school. I will eventually still have to come to school to learn, otherwise I will not be promoted to Secondary 4. Therefore for the welfare of the students(especially me), I propose that you Mr Tan, cut off your penis.

By cutting off your penis, pupils can come back to school again to catch up on what they have missed out on. Thus, i hope that you will cooperate with me and cut off your penis as soon as possible in order to minimize the stress on these pupils.


Think about it. Be creative. Make sure that if you are allergic to something, make good use of it. If people insult you, tell yourself " They are jealous because I am special. "

Norman.

Norman Au.



Blogged at 12:05 AM, +8 GMT


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Monday, May 21, 2007


Really, really never send me anymore chain mails
Please stop it people. I really, really hate chain mails. Oh when I say chain mails, i mean those stupid ones that when you don't pass it on, something freaking horrible will happen to you or someone you know that you are fond of or something like that.

These dumbass chain mails often contains what the individual wants you to do, for example, make the title into: **Why boys shouldn't cheat on girls**

Which is very misleading and is based purely on the individual's personal opinion, and cannot be trusted at all. I mean, take a look at the following image to find how stupid one chain mail can get.

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(click on the images to enlarge them)

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You see that? Thats a nice made up story by that person.

All chain mails are the same: If you don't send to others, you get a fucking lot of curses by that individual, which is extremely irritating. Seriously.. imagine a situation where..

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Another irritating one:

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Yah you know why you won't get it back yeah. If you are so good at mind reading, go and make a living out there. I have enough faith in you that you will succeed just like i have enough faith in an elephant that speaks English exist in this world.

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See what i mean by personal opinion? If 1 to 5 people send back to you, it isn't anywhere near to the reason why you are too lazy to forward it. It's because you are a geek, which probably is trying to tell us that geeks can only have 1-5 friends. Anymore than that he/she isn't classified as one.

Oh that means i am a geek.

Norman Au.



Blogged at 11:01 PM, +8 GMT


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Sunday, May 20, 2007


How to make your own effective advertisement!
With some patience, you too can create your very own banner of which advertises your own product! This post is going to tell you how to make your very own effective advertisement. Good luck, all the best to trick your customers!

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1) Make sure that the title of your banner is HUGE. Make sure that the content are much smaller compared to the title. This is important so that your customer will know what you are trying to sell immediately. The bigger the difference, the more significant it is.

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2) Make sure you exaggerate. If you are selling a house, make sure you say that its:

A magnificent and beautiful house, complete with 4 large rooms and a very clean toilet, with a bathtub which could fill an ENTIRE body in!

Even if your house is just like all the others.


3) Ensure that you use words like "Beautiful, marvelous, fantastic, humongous" at least once in every sentence that you make.


4) All contents that will cause the customer to think in their mind "Oh it isn't that good afterall", if must, should all be put in extreme small font and the color of the word should be somewhat close the the background color, but not exactly the background color so that it can't be seen at all. Example:

200 X 400
centimeter sized house!!!

*Highlight the above text*



5) If the size of your product is small, make sure that you enlarge it a few times. use photoshop and make the things around it seem smaller. This will cause your customer to think that it is really big, and that its worthwhile to buy it.

If the product isn't that attractive, ask a professional
photographer to take a picture of it. Next, ask someone who is great at photoshop to make it look extremely cool.
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Now, don't stop here!!! These are somethings you can do to your shop
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6I) Let the amount of money you want to sell the product at be $3.00. This step here is very important. NEVER let the price be $3.00. You should do something like:

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*note: remember to add the word "ONLY" and some "!!!".

Isn't it great? You get to earn $0.85 extra.


6II) Hold sales like 'closing down sales' every month. Don't hold back! Write the percentage amount they could save by buying things during these sales so that the lazy customers will take a look at the amount they will save and marvel.

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You are halfway there, don't stop now!!!
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7) Always add in extremely small font at the corner of your banner " Terms and conditions apply ". Make sure that it stays as insignificant as possible.

8) Make sure you instill a little bit of humor in the content. This will cause the customer be let their guards down. If your customer is entertained enough, strike.

9) Ensure that you reduce every unit to as small as you can. However, do not reduce it to the smallest at some time, for example 1 kg to 1000grams, and not to milligrams because the word ''milli'' makes everything seem smaller.

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Now you are left with some touching up.
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10) Ensure that your content is clear, precise, and will not bore your customer one bit! Background should not be too nice and this will then cause your picture of your product to e amplify in its magnificence.

11) NEVER use words that are unfamiliar to many people. Use words like "best" and not "pre-eminent".

12) Paragraph your content.

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You are done!
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This may be a little hard at first, but remember, practice makes perfect. With hard work comes big rewards. Heres a sample of a perfect advertisement.

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Click image to view

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Norman

Norman Au.



Blogged at 6:03 PM, +8 GMT


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Saturday, May 19, 2007


Haha I am healthy!

Why can't people just admit that they aren't healthy at all? Just like all those starving children in Africa (the only difference is that they have been forced to be unhealthy because they don't have enough food, but ignore that) . If you aren't healthy, please don't act like you are actually a healthy person.

The dumbest thing to do if you want to act that you are healthy is to actually try to order healthy food in a fast food restaurant. You proceed to the counter and ask for say, healthy burger.

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Now do you want an unhealthy burger or a healthy burger?
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How about fries WITHOUT SALT?

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Now, do you want to be healthy?

Norman Au.



Blogged at 9:37 PM, +8 GMT


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Thursday, May 17, 2007


OK, so blogger's recovered.
A short post, you people MUST do this quiz.

http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/397508

Sign up if you want to know your results. Its free and idiotic.
Anyone who i spot getting a 100% wins a prize.

Norman,
Namron.

Norman Au.



Blogged at 12:07 AM, +8 GMT


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Sunday, May 13, 2007


Sunglasses Rules
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Sun glasses rocks. I wonder who created it. Really, it rocks. Instead of just blocking light rays from the sun, there are a couple of other things you can do by making use of its components. Yes, abusing it. Maybe, the person who invented sunglasses did not plan to really use it for blocking light rays from the sun! Maybe...

Let the person be 'it'.


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Situation 1) Not enough money

It wanted some money. It has no talent. None at all, the only way is to beg for money. And it would act as if it is blind.
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As you can see, no one would believe what it said because people can see that it have eyes. So it thought of a great idea..and it worked. Sunglasses!

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Situation 2) He is a PERVERT

It is a guy. He's a pervert. He wanted to peep at girls vagina. What did it do? After thinking for quite a while, i found out that it

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It was horrible. He was immediately kicked in the groin area. For those who don't know what has been kicked, it's a penis( pronounced as 'pe- nus' ). He is now without a penis, but he is still a pervert. So he invented sunglasses, and nothing of that happened again.

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He succeeded, and NEVER AGAIN was he kicked in the penis.

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Norman,
Namron.

Norman Au.



Blogged at 10:53 PM, +8 GMT


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Thursday, May 10, 2007


Fliers

Lets just face it, fliers = propaganda. Companies nowadays just can't survive without propaganda anymore, reason being that they have one great quality most people want to have, but can't reach that limit anyway.

Totally inept at everything they do (except propaganda. Hell they suck it it too)

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This statement isn't baseless. In fact, scientists have said that it is true that most companies are totally inept in everything they do except propaganda. Scientists like Albert Einstein himself. I've taken the initiative to type out what what he said: "Companies are totally inept at everything they do except propaganda. What they know is to write a load full of rubbish and prompt you into subscribing as a member under their company's name and become a living advertisement for them. They don't even know what is inside an proton. Look at me, I know. There are quarks. I am different. I am an exceptionally adroit physicist."

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By the way, after months of studies, i found out the key factors as to why they are inept at everything.

1) They have classy names like "Adam"
Whats wrong with the name? EVERYTHING!!! You ever heard of one of this popular belief? Adam is believed to be the first person alive created by God. Why the hell do people name their children Adam. Perhaps ...they believe that their child is the first monster created by God? Maybe when I have a child, I'll name my child Hitler if it's a boy, and Stalin if it's a girl.

2)They actually prefer yahoo than google.
1 word: Abnormal.

3)They watch "x idol", where x can be any country.
Watching it is as good as staring at the wall. You watch a show, featuring someone getting famous, while you just sit comfortably at home and vote for some idiot. I don't even understand how such a program is allowed to be shown on television. If these type of show can be so popular, maybe i should make my own show featuring how much of a genius I actually am. (People who disagree can go to hell)

4)They eat fishballs
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A Fish ball and a Fish

First of all fishballs don't even look like fish. Fish balls are white, round, and usually choke babies to death. Fish don't. Oh wait, they kill babies by letting them swallow their bones. But they still look different anyway. A fishball lives on land. Fishes don't. Once they reach land, they die. Just think: Do fishermen fish for fish...or fishballs? A fish can swim, while a fishball can roll. I mean, what the fuck??? Why can't people just start eating fish and not artificial balls??? Is it so hard to not eat balls for once? Oh yah. Male fish have balls.

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I think I totally went off topic, but it doesn't matter anyway.

Norman,
Namron.

Norman Au.



Blogged at 10:32 PM, +8 GMT


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Monday, May 07, 2007


Case Study: Toy production

Once upon a time, a businessman thought of a great idea to make the ideal toy for kids of all ages. Hell, the toy is even popular with adults. Competitions were even held for these toys. Maybe it isn't a toy, i don't know but it doesn't matter. I bought one of it anyway. The toy I am referring to is the TAMIYA car.

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I agree that this toy is fun, you can even modify it and enter competitions.
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Then, theres this production of toys called Bey blade, which I am sure many of you are aware of. The thing is, it's great too.

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The main aim of the game is to get your opponent's bey blade out of the dish, and you win. But I'll prefer to destroy other's bey blade as its more fun then just letting them fly out of the ring, especially after they spend hundreds of dollars modifying their bey blade and changing their 'attack ring'. What you will see then: Tears. But it's still a fun game.
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The thing is, both TAMIYA cars and bey blades are fun to play. However, a creative businessman thought of an even better idea: To merge bey blade and TAMIYA, namely Crush Gear Turbo!

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Hell, who could have thought of a better idea?! Of course! Since bey blade and TAMIYA cars have such great response, it probably means..

TAMIYA Cars [A GREAT game where people compete to see whose car is faster] +
Bey blade [A GREAT game where you get to destroy other's tops.] =
Crush Gear Turbo [A GREATER game where you THROW your car armed with weak plastic weapons whereupon thrown will break almost immediately HARD onto the arena, spin all by itself and attempt to thrash your opponent's car or get it out of the arena!]

A great video on crush gear ( must watch!)


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So... Crush Gear TURBO.. anyone?



Norman,
Namron.

Norman Au.



Blogged at 10:35 PM, +8 GMT


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Sunday, May 06, 2007


TEST

Norman Au.



Blogged at 10:21 PM, +8 GMT


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