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Thursday, June 28, 2007


Video

Trap on treetop walk 1



Sorry, have been busy with schoolwork these days. More videos uploaded tomorrow.

Norman Au.



Blogged at 8:56 PM, +8 GMT


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Saturday, June 23, 2007


Where do we come from?
By reading this post, you agree that this post does not insult anything. It is just crap.
"Where do we come from?". This question has been asked by millions of people that lived thousands of years ago and till now, people are still looking for the answer. The reason why people are so curious about this is because all of us wants to know how we come by to such intelligent beasts.

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Since then, countless theories have been formed. Here are some of the most famous ones.
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Einstein Theory of monkeys.

Countless experiments have been made just to get a definite answer for this particular question, although the answer will not benefit us in any significant ways.

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Albert Einstein (March 14, 1879 - April 18, 1955) was a physicist and mathematician who proposed the theory of evolution. He also made major contributions to the development of quantum mechanics, statistical mechanics and cosmology, and is generally regarded as the most important monkey of the 20th century. He was awarded the 1921 Nobel Prize for Physics for his explanation of the photoelectric effect and "for his services to Theoretical Physics"; however, the announcement of the award was not made until a year later, in 1922, the year when the first big foot was spotted.

This of course, added to his suspicion that monkeys actually do have the intellect to deceive human beings that they were stupid, but they aren't. In 1924, 2 years after massive research on the theory of evolution, Einstein quickly solved the mystery. He set up a simple experiment.

1)A caged monkey
2)Einstein himself
3)Lie detector.

Albert Einstein questioned a caged monkey several question, each time with a lie detector beside it. It turned out that monkeys are either extremely clever or plain dumb. Its either they tricked the lie detector...or simply is telling the truth.

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Men Theory of Magic

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This theory is the oldest one known to man. This is the believe in Magic.. . This theory tells us that everything magically appears by itself, of which includes humans. This theory is dated so old that people of that century believed that an eclipse is actually the act of a dragon swallowing the sun.

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(Enlightened guy with a smile, namely SRI SRI RAVI SHANKAR)

This particular theory greatly contradicts with modern science, though. We no longer have atoms, electrons, protons. Everything is simple, as it is. Everything is the creation of something out of nothing.

Periodic table.

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Thomas Edison Theory of ET( Extraterrestrial)

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Over hundreds of years, millions of unexplainable objects and happenings ( For example, the crop circle) has been found and occurring. There is only one way to uncover these mysteries once and for all.

In short, this theory tells us that all of us (lifeforms) are Aliens, (those little green man with huge, black shiny eyes you see on Television) are actually us. We belong to an entirely different galaxy. Rather unfortunately, some of us climbed onto a meteorite and the meteorite flew and hit Earth.

This also means that we are directly related to all animals, insects, and other living creatures on Earth. The next time you decide to run away from a cockroach, think again. You and it are actually relatives. Having sex with insects are animals will be seem as normal.

This absurd theory causes people to believe that Thomas Edison is an ET, therefore have so much knowledge into this. It is highly possible, since no one else came up with such a theory before.

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Besides, Thomas Edison could have had given himself the name "Thomas Edison" because he is an ET. if you take out the first letters of his name, it would turn out to be TE. Not forgetting the fact that at that time, its fashionable to call others by inverting their names. Therefore, if you actually try to invert his name and take out the first letters of each, The 2 letter that are left behind are actually

ET

Coincidence? You decide!
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Norman Theory of M.V

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M.V stands for Mother's Vagina.
This theory, one of the most famous yet, is made by the great Norman. Norman claims that all of us come from our Mother's vagina. It doesn't matter who you are, boy or girl, we emerged from a vagina, and slowly but surely, starts growing, and eventually into what we are now.

Unlike all other theories, this theory actually does have scientific prove. Ask your mother for more information regarding this theory.

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After reading these four theories, you should at least have your own opinion of which theory is the correct one, if not, you are gay(doesn't matter what gender you actually are), since gay are not allowed to have opinions anyway.

So...which theory do you believe in? ( Poll will end on 1st July)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Norman.

Norman Au.



Blogged at 11:00 PM, +8 GMT


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Thursday, June 21, 2007


Fuck 'real' Music.

After a long consideration of whether or not to make this post, I decided to make it.

Some people obviously, in a bid to defend their favourite band which was in fact proven to play sucky songs, will definitely say this to you " You don't know what is real music lah, don't talk anyhow! You listen to *insult your choice of genre*"

My initial reaction to the phrase " You don't know real music.." was WHAT THE FUCK IS REAL MUSIC!?!? There is no such thing! And it's true. I always back up my idea with evidence, and here it is.

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Talk about a desperate attempt to cover up for sucky songs. Some people just isn't aware that everyone likes different songs. Only stupid people likes a certain band or singer, because the singer and band surely will not come up with kickass song all the way, and will certainly make a shit song once in a while.

Just like Fast And Furious: Tokyo drift. Seriously, no song is worse than that. First of all, just by looking at the name, I know it sucks already. Who the hell would be able to come up with a nice song about Tokyo? So if no one can make a nice song for Tokyo, lets all try to make a nice song for a drifting Tokyo.

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and when it drifts too fast..

..

..

..

..

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Lyrics:
[Chorus]
I wonder if you know
How they live in Toyko
If you see me then you mean it
Then you know you have to go
Fast and furious (Tick, Tick, Tick)
Fast and furious (Tick, Tick, Tick)
[Repeat]

[Japanese verse]

I see many many diamonds danglin
Back for the money keep stranglin
Hate me, fry me, bake me, try me
All the above cuz you can't get in
I don't want to put up with them
Because we put a fresh ....
Make you, shake you, .... (Thank you!)
Haters ..................

[Japanese verse]

[Chorus]

[Japanese verse]

Should see me in the parking lot
7-11 is the spot
Mice with wings and shiny things
And lions, tigers, bears, Oh my ride
We're furious and fast
Super sonic like JJ Phat
An' we rock cuz the wheels are fly
Can't be doubt with a bastball bat

[Japanese verse]

[Chorus]

[Japanese verse]

It's gotta be the shoes
Gotta be the furs
That's why ladies choose me
All up in the news
Cuz we so cute
That's why we so huge
[Japanese]
Not a Chinaman cuz I ain't from China man
I am Japan man

[Girls Talking]
You see him come and go out of the black Benz SLR.
I wonder where he get's that kind of money?
Don't worry about it.
Lets Go

[Chorus]

Damn the shitty lyrics. Damn the English. In fact, nothing of the lyrics is good. Nothing. If i am given a choice of listening to this song or to run 2.4km run, I'll choose the latter. Wait, this isn't even a song. I don't get it. How can anyone think this is a song???
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back to the main point: There is no real music. If there is, it will be punk rock and death metal. Definitely not blues, jazz, pop or anything near.

Norman.

Norman Au.



Blogged at 10:18 PM, +8 GMT


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Monday, June 18, 2007


Fast food sucks

All fast food restaurant sucks. Seriously. All of them are too expensive. The only good thing about is the the air-conditioned place, but I still don't think it's worth it to spend more than a dollar for that.

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For example, the cheapest burger you can get from macdonalds is the hamburger, which is priced at $1.30. It sucks. Guess what it contains only.

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Yes. And it's priced at $1.30. Guess what I can do with the $1.30 if I do not buy the hamburger from macdonalds? Half a plate of chicken rice.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A hawker centre, however, is obviously much much better. Imagine..a 6piece chicken special at KFC..costs proximately the price of one whole spring chicken in a hawker centre. And if you guys really want good food, go a hawker centre. Fast foods are made by MACHINES.

*Having a camp. Posting on thursday. Sorry for the short post.*

Norman.

Norman Au.



Blogged at 12:47 AM, +8 GMT


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Wednesday, June 13, 2007


NO MOODSWING!
Note: this is an extremely bias post.

Boys shouldn't have mood swing. You can't have. You don't have menstruation. You don't have menopause. Your penis don't suddenly bleed. Stop giving yourself excuses to show off your fucking attitude boys (not referring to anyone in particular). You DON'T HAVE MOOD SWING!

ANY boy who claims he have a mood swing is a liar, because no boys should have it. The only group of boys I know of who CAN actually have the potential to have mood swings are those who have both penis and vagina.

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Think about it. Do you really want to have a penis and a vagina...AND NO BALLS??? That is what will happen if you are going to have mood swing..if you are a boy that is. If you are a girl you are going to be just okay and stay with just one vagina.(Don't ask me how do i know that, because I know everything and should never be questioned.)

Heres what you should do if you see a guy who claims he have mood swing.

Ask him straight "Do you have both penis and vagina and no BALLS?" Then tell him "If no, you do not have mood swing because you can't menstruate if you don't have a vagina. If you cant menstruate, you don't have mood swing."

If the guy claims that he only have one penis, no vagina and have BALLS, and he is still positive he have mood swing, beware. YOU, MY FRIEND, IS TALKING TO A SEX-CHANGE PATIENT. He is actually an it. That is, you do not know what gender it is. It might just suddenly be horny and rape you(no matter what gender you are, as it is after all, half man, half women). When you realize it, do not panick. End all conversation with it. SPRINT to the nearest police station you can find and seek help. They are trained for dealing with these matters.

A word of warning though. Never ever attempt to handle the monster ALONE. You will definitely, 100%, sure to get raped. It is of extreme danger. You don't want to get rape.

Norman.

Norman Au.



Blogged at 8:46 PM, +8 GMT


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Saturday, June 09, 2007


What TNL can do to you
First of all, sorry for the delay.
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Refer to post to find out what TNL is:
Http://normanau1.blogspot.com/2007/02/tnl.html
Http://normanau1.blogspot.com/2007/04/tnl2.html.

TNL can really, really, really be harmful you know. I've recently come across this blog that uses TNL. All of you must look at this.

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I believe she had wanted to type "coming", but maybe just maybe, she forgot the spelling of "coming"! Now, this begs the question " Who the fuck in this world above the age of 8 don't know how to spell "coming"!?" You know something? Even grandmothers know how to spell "coming", and it's true.

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You see?

The thing is, even if you can't spell "coming", you should be clever enough NOT to use "coming",since any attempt to use it will risk you becoming a clown. I mean.. CUMING?! You know WHAT THE FUCK is CUM?

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So back to the first picture.. "baby cuming hm tmoroe![:"..Soooo...the baby is ejaculating home tomorrow? That makes it a fucking baby! (literally.) The baby will surely grow up to be a pervert.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
People who know me should also know that my English really sucks, right.. which is true. The thing is, even with my poor vocabulary and grammar skills, I can spot some spelling and grammatic error that someone(not going to reveal her identity) had made. SOME.

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The circled words represents spelling errors.
The crossed sentences represents bad grammar,
the ticked sentences represents correct sentences.


I am not sure if i corrected it correctly. Perhaps some of then is wrong and i missed out...but never mind.

TNL is really, really harmful. It is like suicide "It kills". Never try it.
Be a man. Do the right thing.
Maybe you don't heed the advice here now, then you see how many people died because of TNL, and you come back later, it's too late! You would have used TNL and is probably suffering from cancer already! Be a man. Do the right thing.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Norman.

Norman Au.



Blogged at 8:31 PM, +8 GMT


2 Comments:

OMG Im gonna advertise this post on my blog =)

Nice one, I love ur Anti-TNL posts!!!

By Blogger alqx, at June 22, 2007 9:58 AM  

imma gonna TNL all dhe waye in dhis ANTIE-TNL bl0q!h0w euu lyke dhat huhhs? yearh? hohoho. HAHAH. just joking. HILARIOUS POSTS XD

By Anonymous amy, at April 11, 2009 9:29 PM  

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Wednesday, June 06, 2007


Transition Lens
Transition Lens company is an asshole company. They give stupid advertisement. Look at this.

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I'd really wished to tick one, but then i realized it's just another stupid advertisement with a person smiling for no reason(the company probably want people to think that anyone who uses that product is happy).

Look at the options they give you. TICK ONE!
*Risk having eye diseases later on in life
*Wear a pair of transition lens

I can easily think of what the company will do for an advertisement next.
*Die
*Wear a pair of transition lens

*Become HIV positive
*Wear a pair of transition lens

*Tortured from 99 days
*Wear a pair of transition lens
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I'm trying to say that this is common sense. Obviously people will rather wear transition lens then have eye diseases. But the thing is, one might still get eye diseases even if they wear transition lens.

And by giving those two options, they are giving people the impression that normal glasses suck and shouldn't be worn at all. I hate this ad.

Norman.

Norman Au.



Blogged at 11:26 PM, +8 GMT


1 Comments:

hey, i do this blog thing for work, but i happened across yours while wastign some time... You have a Great sense of humor. Keep it up!

Sarah @ Abes

By Blogger Y of F, at June 06, 2007 11:34 PM  

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People

Has anyone realized that more and more idiots have escaped from IMH (Institute of Mental Health) and take public buses home to escape from the wrath of the nurses? I did. It was horrible, just like watching someone shit in his pants. Seriously.

The main idea here is the idiots actually take on public buses, which strictly says " No idiots allowed. Any idiots found will be executed. BY LAW." But you and I both know idiots. They know nothing. They don't even now abc, so its perfectly alright for them not to know the definition of execution. Forgive and forget.

I've this experience once. I tried to take bus 176 home from school. Somehow i can't board the bus because its full. But then i saw. I saw empty space, and saw people who just won't move in. It was then that it struck me. I remembered the news i watched yesterday..

It was about this accident in IMH. Someone bombed it and the idiots escaped. I wonder where they escaped to. Now i know. They deliberately took on this 176 bus to stop me from going home! Fuck these idiots. If I could, I would have took a shotgun and shot them all dead.

But i gave them a second chance. A second chance in society. I gave them yellow ribbons, and told them all about the yellow ribbon campaign.

This post has no meaning. Posting tomorrow. Not kidding, even though i have camp tomorrow.

Norman Au.



Blogged at 8:39 PM, +8 GMT


2 Comments:

LoL that is so fucking funny

By Blogger alqx, at June 22, 2007 9:37 AM  

Thanks for writing this.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at November 11, 2008 11:55 AM  

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Friday, June 01, 2007


Want music? Use a ear piece.

I think its safe to say that there are more and more people out there who don't know that theres this invention called 'earpiece' or 'bluetooth device' or 'headphone'. For the benefit of the people who do not know those inventions, a picture of a headphone is shown below.

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A headset

Maybe, just maybe, it is time for you guys to buy one! With it, people won't scold FUCK to you on the bus when you blast your stupid songs! Everyone will be happier, especially these people.

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Their company

You know karma? It exist. It is true, scientists have proven it. By buying a earpiece, you get to make everyone happy, especially their company. Moreover, they will also gain more money. Karma states that if you do something good in your life, something good will happen to you. Really.

However, in order to achieve this, you must know how to use it in such a way that everyone is happy. I have taken the initiative to tell you what you should not do with a earpiece to make everyone happy.

1) Plug the earpiece in both your ears and completely unaware that you have not plug it in to your mp3 or hand phone, proceed to play your music.

-If you do that, your music will blast out! Imagine that happening! You do not want that because people will be disappointed with you, especially your mother. use your brain to remember the procedure to use your earpiece. You don't want to be careless.


2) Use it while you are swimming.

-This will spoil your earpiece. You will have to buy another one or get it fixed(no other option as 'not buying/repairing' is impossible). Please take note of this: Do not let water come into contact with your earpiece.


3) Let your 3> x year old brother/sister look at it, close up.

-Your brother/sister will eat it, which doesn't really matter. The bad thing is, your earpiece can't be used anymore. You will have to buy another one or get it fixed.


4) Attempt to break open it to learn how to make a similar one.

-Considering the fact that you do not even know that earpieces exist, DON'T. In fact, NEVER EVER do it.Don't even think about it. It is against everyone's common sense. And the law.

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The law. Don't do something and regret later on..

5) Cut the earpiece because you don't know how to switch it off.

Some earpiece cannot be switched off. For these earpiece, do not worry. Simply switch off your mp3 or hand phones to stop the music.


-----------------------------------------------------------
Practice makes perfect. You do want your life to be good don't you (Hint: Think of karma while answering this question)? With a earpiece, you can improve your life.

EARPIECE + PROCEDURE + MP3 + PEOPLE + BRAINS/MEMORIZE = GOOD LIFE


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You can be THIS happy!


-----------------------------------------------------------
Norman.
Comments are welcomed.

Norman Au.



Blogged at 7:50 PM, +8 GMT


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