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Monday, November 26, 2007

Sign of Death

People die. It doesn't matter whether if they had died gracefully or horribly, they still die anyway. It's pretty easy to see if someone is dying or not. It won't take you much effort to find out. With this newly acquired knowledge to spot a dying person, you may just save your friends and family members in the nick of time (nick of time is commonly known to teachers as last minute work). May.

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Rigor Mortis
Men tend to die younger than women as they don't know they are dying, therefore they don't do anything to salvage the situation! There is this thing known as Rigor Mortis. In short, it is the stiffening of muscles in your body, making them 'locked' in a position. It also means that you are dying. Familiar? Experts claim that at least 40% of the males are ignorant of rigor mortis.

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(The above condition is not erection)
*The above condition may not be suitable for females.*

Watch out especially if the male is over 60, and still claims that he don't need viagra, because he isn't suppose to erect anyway. Always remember that males are unable to erect when they reach 60 years of age.


Please note that gyming can cause rigor mortis. in the arms, legs and alps, which are commonly mistook for muscle pulls and cramps. Never go gyming. Gyming shortens your lifespan. Many people have actually died from gyming.

How Dumbbell kills
This is how dumbbell works. When you are working out with a dumbbell, you exert a force that is so intense, you blow out your blood vessels and bones. All the tissues and cells that your muscle use to lift the dumbbell dies off immediately. The only way to stop you from dying now is amputation.

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This is the last post of the year. Note: Blog will always rest for 1 month each year. Watch for the next post in http://normanau.blogspot.com on 1st January2008, where 3 new posts will be put up.

In the meantime, I will set up my archives.

Norman Au.

Blogged at 5:43 PM, +8 GMT


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Friday, November 16, 2007

Flat Earth

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I bet you guys expect everyone to know that the earth is round. You are in for a shock.

First, i would like to thank my cousin for sharing his joy in the flat earth forum, which gradually leads me to this post. I've run out of ideas for blog post recently, therefore i didn't really update at all.

This is currently the most stupid theory EVER. The people in the forum believes that the Earth is flat. Seriously. They aren't joking. This means that if you move in a certain direction (in a straight line), you'll end up falling off the Earth. WHAT IF a student accidentally falls off the earth when he is having 2.4km run?

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'Pon' refers to skip.

In order to cover up this flaw, the people in the forum thought of quite a surprising way of explaining why no one fell off the edge of the earth. There is a huge block of ice surrounding the earth, and the government from all over the world worked together, hired people to guard the ice.This prevents you from falling off the edge of the earth in your napfa test 2.4 km run.

Also, in order to explain gravity, gravity is explained as ' upward acceleration of the earth, approximately 10m/s^2. ' Which means the earth is constantly on the move upwards. If we consider this explanation, it means that the earth is currently moving faster than the speed of light already. This also means that rockets shouldn't be able to work and satellites are impossible, the entire NASA is nothing more than a conspiracy.

Theres a reason why the sun is not a flaming chariot wheel. There are reasons why the earth is not flat. Thinking that the earth is flat is thinking that the earth is bigger than the sun, which is seriously what the people in the forum thinks.

So to sum it up all, flat earth looks something like this.

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Ditch this bullshit. I hope nobody thinks that the Earth is flat after visiting the forum at http://theflatearthsociety.org.

Norman Au.

Blogged at 5:47 PM, +8 GMT


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Saturday, November 03, 2007


Fashion sucks. Fashion is a communist movement. I'm pretty sure many of you don't know it, but in the years before the Tsar in Russia was actually overthrown by the people, 'fashion' wasn't a word. Fashion don't even exist then. Fashion is actually a communist idea. Living in a democratic country, many of us have been deceived.

Fashion's main purpose is to make everyone dress alike so as to represent equality in class. Even if you are rich, you'll look like someone who isn't rich. Blame Karl Marx for publishing his book and getting everyone influenced.

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You go out in the streets, you see guys having hair like this. Furthermore, they have do not have a slope, fringe covering the eyes, side burn longer than half the ear length. Completely unacceptable. Take a closer look at the guy, and you'll know he's pro-communist.
(click on closer look) You see?

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Almost every guy have unacceptable hairstyle nowadays.. People everywhere are getting used to the communist way of living.

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The shop 'ThisFashion' originated from a communist. He is actually the grandson of Karl Marx. If you look carefully at the name ThisFashion, you would actually spot the communist sign. Again.(click on 'Again')

The fact that fashion is just a way to make people get use to the communist lifestyle means most of the fashions suck. One example is the bell's bottom. This is because the designer have not put in much effort. However, people last time love bells. So they love bell bottoms. Definitely not because bell bottoms are nice.

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The problem with bell bottoms is that the bottom is fat, but when it gets nearer to your waist, it gets very narrow. So who the hell is it for? Fat people can't wear it. Thin people look fat wearing it. Even 'pai kias' want to call gang and settle outside school because they are not happy with bell bottoms.

My point here is that Fashion is stupid. If everyone looks similar, no one would look good. So be unique. Don't be a slave to trends. You want to look good, don't trust fashion. Just wear what you think will be nice,(Don't blame me if your taste sucks.) and be proud of it.


Norman Au.

Blogged at 4:25 PM, +8 GMT


nice post! I like it a lot!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 01, 2008 12:20 PM  

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The New Language(TNL)
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